waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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