Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
