Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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