so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
