Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
