I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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