So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
