This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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