Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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