I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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