Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize