i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
