We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
