i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Hippo gnu deer
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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