fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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