We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
