dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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