did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
