Duck Duck Cougar?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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