im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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