That's intense
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
