So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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