Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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