Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
We had to coat check the pizza.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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