i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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