there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
