saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
