My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
