its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm bleeding and have questions
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
