belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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