i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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