wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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