Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
