For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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