if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
