He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
