I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
