think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I love you. Go after that dick
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
