You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
