so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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