when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
