come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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