its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
