woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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