my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Blood and glitter go together right?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
