For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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