I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
