in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize