Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
