You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
