This girl is more easily done than said...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize