So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
