oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
