im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
