You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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