I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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