She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
