Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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