so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
