this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Sorry about my life...
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