Don't you send me to vm
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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