Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You made out with two different species that night
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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