Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
