he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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