i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
so much tequila, so little girl.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
