Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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