i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize