...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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