Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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