Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
