we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
