My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize