Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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