it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Can I color on your dick again?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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